Each year, the English Department at San Jose State University sponsors the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Entrants are competing to see who can write the worst opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. There are several subcategories (e.g. detective fiction, romance, etc) but the Grand Prize this year went to Molly Ringle for the following entry:

"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil." Chek out their website - it's good for lots of laughs!